Frodo Lives

So here I am, in the mountains of Lesotho a couple hundred kilometers from where Tolkien was born. I'm here as an MAF maintenance intern, and it happens to be just coming into the rainy season, which means the mountains are covered with soft, puffy clouds.

I wouldn't say my internship has gone well, objectively speaking. I screwed up in Orientation, buckled down and aced the second chance I got, only for a bunch of durkas to screw that up by causing a ruckus and forcing the program I was supposed to work with to evacuate the house I was supposed to live in for fear of being mortared.

It's the latest portion of a quest that's included spending nights in a psychiatric ward, a night in a homeless shelter by necessity, and calling a friend at 2330 because I got thrown out of the place I was living. I've been penniless and have had to choose between buying tools for school and food (I chose tools). I've had to choose between ever seeing people I loved again and staying healthy (I chose staying healthy). I've had to drive 1500 miles past home to live with strangers because my family wasn't willing to let me come home (I've never asked why).

I've endured all of this because I believe God has directed me towards entering mission aviation. I knew in advance that it would be hard, it's just a different kind of hard than I was expecting.

I'm at this point where I could get home from this internship and walk away from the entire quest. Nobody would fault a man for saying "You know what? I sacrificed a hell of a lot to get there, and it didn't go very well. I'm going home."

But on the other hand, Frodo.

Frodo got stabbed at Weathertop just trying to take the Ring to Rivendell. His quest, at that point, involved being chased by Ringwraiths out of his happy little life, traveling far beyond anything he'd ever known, and then it involved getting stabbed and nearly dying from the wound.

Nobody would have faulted him for saying "You know what? I brought the Ring to Rivendell, got stabbed in the process, and people much more suited for the task can do the rest. I'm going home."

But...that's now how the story of Frodo ends. He didn't call it a day, he didn't choose to place his own happiness and well-being ahead of the necessity of the day, he instead volunteered to go all the way to Mount Doom and finish the job. He didn't even know how to get there, but he still volunteered.

By the end of it, he'd seen friends die. He'd endured being separated from all but one of his friends, nearly murdered by an ally, poisoned and nearly eaten by a giant spider, and had his finger bitten off. And he had to fight, run, and hide from overwhelming enemy forces the entire time.

There are thousands and millions and billions of people who, at the end of the day, do whatever it is that they think will make them healthy and happy. If something should arise that they don't want to do, they do anything they can to pass the job off to anyone who will do it, no matter how poorly.

I'm sure, that at some point, Frodo wished that the Ring had never come into his life. That the entire thing had been handled by someone else, and that he could have spend the rest of his life in Hobbiton. But when it came down to it, Frodo stepped up to the situation at hand, and put his dreams and desires and well-being second to what needed to be done.

I'm with Frodo.

I'm sure there are people in this world who would make better missionaries than I will, but that doesn't change the situation. The task has been set before me, and I will see it done, even though I don't know the way.

To Mordor if need be, to Mortarville if at all possible, but no matter where this journey ends, I'm with Frodo.