Wish List.

I wish I didn't know where God was sending me.

I wish I didn't have to hear other people beg for knowledge of where God was sending them.

I wish I didn't know how desperately I want to succeed.

I wish I didn't know exactly how little my friends matter to me compared to that.

I wish I didn't know how much worse it's going to get.

I wish I didn't have to watch other people be happy.

I wish I didn't know who God is telling me to date.

I wish I thought she cared about me.

I wish I saw her more than once every other month.

I wish I didn't know how brutally I'll push myself.

I wish I didn't know how brutally I'll push everyone else.

I wish I'll get to build my rifle one day.

I wish I felt respected for what I am.

I wish I knew how to talk honestly with people without pissing them off.

I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off.

I wish I knew how to function in society.

I wish I could be nice to people.

I wish I could stay clean.

I wish I wasn't alone in every possible way.

I wish other people could see the world the way I do.

I wish no one ever had to see the world the way I do.

I wish I actually thought I'd succeed.

I wish I was who I need to be.

I wish I didn't have a list of dead people.

I wish I didn't need the list.

I wish I could just go Home.

I wish I'll get a viking funeral.

I wish that didn't seem odd for a devout Christian.

I wish I had more faith in what I believed.

I wish I didn't laugh at other people.

I wish I cared more about people in need.

I wish I wasn't just following orders.

I wish it meant something more than a job.

I wish it didn't hurt.

I wish churches didn't preach a pain-free life.

I wish churches never taught that Jesus was the way out of pain.

I wish I wasn't so scared.

I wish I was as fearless as my actions say I am.

I wish I wasn't so important.

I wish I was confident.