The Charlie Brown Method of Livng Through Painful Shit.

So, it seems that Life has once again given me hope, then taken it away. I charged right up to that ball, and was going to smash it through the uprights, but life pulled it away right before my foot hit it, and now I'm flat on my back, and it hurts like hell.

My form was perfect. I wasn't lagging back, fearful of what might happen if I kicked it. I wasn't hesitant. I'd practiced kicking that ball hundreds of times on my own, and it would have been a beautiful field goal. But life, like Lucy in Peanuts, is rather fond of pulling things away at the last second.

In life, I've discovered that the vast majority of my responsibility simply comes down to doing what must be done, in the manner in which it must be done. That 90% of things go horribly wrong hardly matters, that remaining 10% demands that I *always* kick as hard as I can, because occasionally, and eventually, I'm going to hit the ball, and score the field goal.

Right now, shit hurts. I really want to get bitter, because that would allow me to foist the pain onto someone else. Because it's not my fault, this time, but it's also not their fault. There isn't fault or blame to spread around, it simply didn't work.

So, in order to deal with the pain, I need to just pull a Charlie Brown. Had the ball not been pulled out of the way, it would have been the most beautiful field goal ever. So why would I deal with self-recrimination and other pointless agony? It's not my fault that the ball got pulled away.

But it's not the fault of the other party. If I choose to blame the other party, and invite bitterness, I'll just be fearful of kicking the next ball that life sets up for me to kick. If I let that happen, I'll never kick the ball, and I'll never score that field goal. Then the game will always be a lost one, because I won't be brave enough to attempt to kick the ball.

So, living through painful shit like this really just comes down to figuring out two things:

1. Did I handle my end of kicking the ball properly?

2. Is the goal of kicking the ball a worthy one?

If those two answers are yes, then there's nothing to regret. Life is shit, always has been, always will be. That life is shit isn't something to regret, it's something to endure. I did my best to kick that ball properly, and the goal of kicking the ball is a worthy one, so I don't have anything to regret.

The next ball, man, the next ball is going straight through the uprights. It's going to be the most beautiful, most dead-center, most perfect field goal ever kicked. I'm going to kick it so hard, and with such perfect form, that it sails all the way to the moon.

Because that's how Charlie Brown does it.